I feel like I’ve been asleep for weeks, if not months. I‘ve been struggling a lot, trying to determine what to write about. In retrospect, I’ve realised that I’ve been compartmentalising my words and thoughts into what was blog-worthy and what wasn’t. And somehow I feel I haven’t been true to myself. I am so tired of closing myself into boxes of my own making. This place, this blog, is mine and I can write about anything I want to. In any way I want to. So why am I so hesitant sometimes? I think I’ve been reading too many posts about SEO – you know, that magic something known as Search Engine Optimization which, if used properly, will make you Google’s darling. But I don’t want to rank high on Google (if that will ever happen)and lose sight of who I am.
All of this came as a bit of a revelation to me as I was reading the ‘About Me’ page of the blog Butter & Brioche. The author, Thalia, is so passionate. Her words evoked so many emotions within me that I felt as if the walls that I had built around me all came tumbling down. There was a time when I would have laid myself bare, like Thalia does. When the words would have gushed out of me in torrent, like a swollen stream after the rain. But instead I’ve been sitting and staring at the shelves in front of me in the hope of … what? I am not sure what I have been seeking these past months. I’ve been on the outside looking in. At myself. At what I write. And somehow I found it lacking in something. Something essential. Yes, if I’m honest, it was lacking in soul. Lacking in depth.
I’ve lost sight of the shore for too long but maybe, finally, I am coming home. With Spring, I feel a reawakening. A resurgence of something that I thought I had lost. There will be days when I will sink to the bottom again, and wallow in the mud for a while. It is in the nature of things. We cannot always crest the waves. Like buds, we may need to feel the mud and dirt get under our fingers and in our pores before we can grow towards the light.
That was a bit of a confession and it poured out of me without too much thought. Maybe that’s how it should be every now and then, an exercise in free writing. Something to ponder. I’m keeping it short today. I’ll be back next week with my March faves. Happy Spring. Ours started with a gale, a thunderstorm and torrential rain. How was the first day of Spring in your corner of the world?
RAIN!
ReplyDeleteNEVER HAD RAIN ON THE FIRST DAY OF SPRING!
THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL SO whatever YOU DID KEEP AT IT!
OFF TO CHECK OUT YOUR LINKY and who CARES ABOUT ThAT SEO STUFF?NOT YOU AND ME!!!!!!!
WE DO THIS FOR OURSELVES as a DIARY of sorts about our LIFE and FEELINGS and PHOTOGRAPHS!
BIG HUG,
XX
Yes, I completely agree. SEO is for those whose blog is a business. Ours is for fun and friendship. Big hug back xx
DeleteDitto agree
ReplyDeleteStruggle with writing...I gave up trying to work an old story, and started a new one. I did the same with painting. If I am stuck on something old, then try a new something. On this 3rd day of spring here in Vermont, there was the prettiest snowfall, big flakes covering everything. It is magical.
I can only imagine how beautiful it must be with all those big snowflakes floating around. Yes, doing something new or in a different way is a good idea.
DeleteThis was really beautiful and I relate so much, especially as regards to blogging. I often feel like a square peg trying to force myself into a round hole (or however the saying goes!) with regards to blogging. I am just exhausted by it and like you it has made me pull back in the past few months. I took time out to write some non-blogging things recently and was surprised how much better my words flowed when I wasn't censoring myself for some imagined audience. In the end we have to be true to ourselves I think, sometimes it's easy for that to get clouded with all the outside pressures of blogging. But for me it's pointless if I don't find a way to express myself authentically. I agree the Spring awakening is a welcome one too, for whatever reason I have been in hermit mode all winter but am ready to greet the world a bit more now I think! xo
ReplyDeleteThat's great Steffi. I hope you will be back to blogging soon.
DeleteLoree I think we all find our wells dry at times. Many of us push on but honesty is often hard to put out there for others to read. We want things to sound good...look pretty and seem like a sweet episode of Andy Griffith - in reality that is not life...everyone has ups and downs. Looks to me you are on your way up. Always be the beautiful person you are sweet friend. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThank you Debbie. People like you make me find the energy, and the words, to carry on.
DeleteHi Loree,
ReplyDeleteBeing totally new here I hadn’t realised you had fallen into a bit of a slough with your blog. Looking about, I see you’ve been writing your blogs for absolute years, so no wonder you hit some dry patches with your creative spirit! I’ve noticed there are some out there who blog on a daily basis as a form of exercise, almost, & I could never imagine that for myself. I like the idea that if I have something to say from time to time, a blog is as good a place as any to jot it down, and it’s really just a Place Of One’s Own to say and do as you wish. The fun part is that you can illustrate your point with photos & pics from the internet, so in that respect it’s even better! Lovely fig picture, by the way, and your link is filled with all sorts of promise, of the edible variety, as well!
Hi Loree,
ReplyDeleteI've been trying for weeks to comment on blogs but something is wrong with my google profile and hasn't let me post comments. I just wanted to say that writing from the heart is not always an easy task, for it comes with having to reveal yourself publicly in a way that doesn't always feel good - it feels vulnerable. Yet I've found that right there is where the best expression often comes from. It does take guts, and I salute you for putting yourself out there. Keep the faith and keep on writing - the world always needs to hear an honest voice. xoxo